Sunday, September 18, 2011

Relationship Reflection

My beloved
I have many relationships, some are professional and some are personal and then there is family.  My most important relationship is with my husband.
We have been married for 7 years.  We dated for one year before we married.  I am the only woman he has married and I have had two weddings but only one marriage and that is with him.  We were introduced to each other by a friend of mine. I almost walked out on our first date because he is very thin and me well not so thin. We support each other, mutually respect each other and engage in mutually fun activities.  We rarely argue and accept each other's strengths and weaknesses.  Most importantly, we like each other.  We have 3 cats, a dog and a bird.  He has four siblings and my mother in love was the best.  We lost her this past December.  I was very close to my mother in love as we lived only a mile apart.  I am a part of the his family and like his family more than my own.  I like and love my niece and nephews.  My sisters and I sometimes chose to be kind to each other but I have had many conflicts with my biological family.   I have my friends, some that I've known since childhood, some since college and some within the past 7 years.  My personal relationships help keep me grounded and unwind.  My friend, Gretchen, helps me find balance between my need to work and have fun.   She is also a mentor and gives me tips on how to be a good teacher as well as have a life.

Our "son" B
Wolfie, our youngest

My professional relationships are also very important to me.  I am indebted to my instructional assistant.  He helps keep the classroom organized. He is usually very patient with our students and is helpful to the whole team.  I have worked with my behavior specialist for over 4 years now and have finally resolved many conflicts and now mutually respect each other.  We were able to really talk to each other about our differences in philosophy and began to understand each other this past summer during a four day institute.
I try to live by the motto "Seek first to understand then be understood".  I have good relationships with my students and their families.  I frequently have to remember my motto when working with some of my families.  I will have to find ways to build rapport with one parent if and when she begins to be allowed to take care of her daughter.  This parent has many issues and frequently doesn't keep her child safe or value education.  I also personally believe she should have her rights terminated and has had other children permanently taken from her.
I believe that mutual respect is critical in building relationships followed by learning about each other.  Clear communication is also vital but not always easy. All relationships take work and time.  Some change and some fade away and sometimes one has to realize that some relationships are too unhealthy and one needs to walk away from them.  I had to do this with my ex as he was very abusive and I also have to do this with my biological family at times when they become hurtful.  I also had a co-worker that I used to car pool with but eventually I realized I was being used as I always did the driving and she was very nasty about helping to pay for gas.  My attitude was poorly affected when we rode together.